Wednesday, August 27, 2008


At age 30, I really didn't think I would have 2 mammograms under my belt, ok bra. But I have. I just went for my 6 month check up.

Let's describe the process. First, they mark your moles/skin tags (which I have many thanks to Sus) so I have stickers on my chest. Then they mark my scar. (It' s been a really hard summer with my new scar. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. I've had to put clothes back on the rack because it shows. And is ugly. And big. And red. And on really, I mean REALLY, pale skin it shows up.) So here I am, bare chested in a short pink gown with stickers all over my chest. (Plus a cold room . . . . ) Then you have to step up to a large machine. Think of a large metal tabletop that's about 40 degrees. The lady grabs your breast and holds it while she lowers this really big, clear, cold plastic thing on your boob. And says hold it. It hurts. It really does feel like having your boob smashed in a fridge. And stretching. And it makes wierd noises. All the while I'm thinking about all the radiation going into my body. And your arm is over the machine, hugging it, like you're friends or something. Just so you get the mental picture.

Then there's me, knowing more than I let on to the tech. So I'm running, as soon as the machine loosens it grip on my chest, to look at all 3 pictures. Back and forth, Back and forth. When I went in February there was a BIG white abnormality in all the pictures. This time it was gone. But my radiology skills are not the best so I thought I'd wait to hear from my doctor.

I was told in February that I'd go for a 6 month mammogram to use as my new baseline mammogram. Then I'd go yearly.

But I was called and told I'm suppose to go back for ANOTHER mammogram in 6 months. Needless to say, I'm a little scared. Well, not scared but worried. My boobs are so asymmetric now I really can't afford to lose more. Then I'll be sewing all my bras together. Because the cup sizes are going to be so different. I haven't seen the surgeon yet.

I'm not sure I'd be able to pass it off that I'm handling it well if I didn't have my Effexor. . . . maybe that's why I'm not sleeping. Oh worry. . . . .

But God is faithful. If it is something to worry about I'm sure they'd have me in sooner. It's hard not to think the worst. . . .


Courtney said...

sorry sarah! i know that can be scary...different circumstances, but they thought i had colon cancer 3 times my freshmen year through my junior you know all the very "FUN" tests and procedures I've had done there and all the calls that make your stomach turn and all the just crap and the waiting...but you are most certainly right...God is faithful and he protects you and will sustain you! You are precious to him and me! :)

LB said...

Yikes! I can only imagine how stressful it would be to go through this. Keep us informed on what happens.

I actually will probably not go to the conference. I don't have a ton of benefits since I only work part time, and I would have to pay for it myself. So, I pretty much have all my CME's through my AAFP journal. I would actually LOVE to go and get the review and catch up with all my classmates, but I think I'm going to skip out this year. Hopefully I'll make it next year. Are you going?