Sunday, March 7, 2010

nothing to report

I've been told I need to get back to blogging. But I really don't have anything to say. Well, besides my mom dying.

I'm beginning to feel like Phoebe from FRIENDS, who constantly brings up the death of her mother. Like when they are chosing maid-of-honor for Monica's wedding, Phoebe's excuse is that her mom committed suicide when she was 15 so she should get to be the maid-of honor. I actually have used the excuse. Someone asked if I wanted to help clean up the kitchen at work. I told them, "No thank you, my mom just died." It tends to work. Except on my sister. We were looking for something at a baby boutique and couldn't find it so I mentioned that we should probably ask. She asked me if I wanted to do it. My response, "No thanks, my mom just died yesterday." She told me she was going to punch me in the face and then told me her mom just died too. I told her I was sooooo sorry to hear that. I did make her smile though.

So, life is moving on. It's wierd though. It really didn't hit until I got back to Bixby. It's funny how I look around my house and see my mom.

The thing I'm dreading? Going through her closet. Dad really wants Laura and I to go through it so we can give it to people who really need the clothes. It's just that her clothes are so personal. That and they smell like her. I'm keeping the jewelry and the purses. Too bad I don't wear a size 7 1/2 shoe.

So this is going to be my only poor me blog. I don't want to turn this into grief therapy. But I don't want people to think I'm moving on without her. She's with me everyday. I really do miss her. But I'm so glad I'm going to see her again. I just tell myself she's making curtains for my heavenly home. That and keeping track of my thank you notes.


ittybittyandpretty said...

i stumbled across your blog by accident...your mother must have been so proud to have raised such an eloquent and resilient daughter. you are right, you will never forget your mother and she will always be with you. my mother died when i was 4, and i have to catch myself when i say that was over 30 years ago because i know she has been with me every step of the way. she has seen me through uni and my wedding and the births of my 3 girls. she has comforted them in the night when i was too tired to do so...she is with me when we celebrate her birthday and i know that she holds me wheni am feeling down.

i do hope that you hold onto some of her items, my most treasured items are those that have her writing especially when she writes about her love for me.

have faith and you will get through...
'if god leads you to it,he will get you through it'

%*_*% rosey

Laura and Jonathan said...

Ditto on everything! I miss her so much...

Let's keep all the pretty jewelry for sure. And I'm much closer to a 7 1/2 than you! Ha ha!


Anonymous said...

Came across your blog just clicking the next blog button. Thanks for sharing about your mom. So sorry about your loss. I'm a new blogger and was beginning to lose sight of the reason I started blogging in the first place. Sure, some blogs are just way beyond anything I dreamed existed with designer graphics and gorgeous pictures of a life I'd never be able to keep up with, but I was missing home--the center of His will and purpose for my blogging. I know it was no accident that I hit that next blog button. Again, thanks for sharing and I'll be praying for you and your loved ones.

sonja said...

Last night, I went to Precepts for the first time in three years (I quit when Brookie was a few months old because it became impossible to take her). Although Precepts studies have a standardized format, I think it was "personal" (to use your adjective) for Susan; she made that class a very personal ministry and it was hard not to have her there . . . what an amazing woman she was and I am so honored that God blessed my life by allowing our paths to cross.

Anonymous said...

Sarah you have truly been a blessing of God's eternal perspective! Thanks for your words and please know I am praying for you. Ed will hopefully have dinner with us on Thursday!

carmar76 said...

I, too, found your blog via the Next Blog button, and after reading this post wanted to give you a big internet *HUG*. You also made me laugh, because I tend to be like Phoebe, really. My father (and bff) passed away 3 years ago, and I still some days feel like saying, "I don't want to because I miss my dad." So I do. It still usually works.

Praise be to our Heavenly Father, to our Lord & Savior, that we only have to miss our parents for a time, and we'll be with them again forever. : )

Thanks for writing about this!