quotes

So I realized I hadn't posted in awhile.

Today's quote:

"My bronical tubes are hurting."

Many patients here in Oklahoma call their BRONCHIAL tubes that. If it were me, I'd just say my lungs. Such as, 'my lungs are hurting.' That way I wouldn't sound retarded because I was mis-pronouncing a medical term. Just a thought.

funniest quote of my career

This would be MUCH funnier if I felt it appropriate to use the exact words that were said on Thursday, however, it's not. So, please use your imagination.

New patient arrives in office. He's cute, 22 years old, and works out. (Meaning probably uses 'roids) So his muscles are bulging. The girls are following him around the office, drooling.

His main reason for visiting the office: "Groin Strain."

So I start asking him questions. How long had it been there? When did he first notice it? What makes it worse? Had he tried taking anything for it? Where is the pain?

Of course, he points to his inguinal canal. (Or groin)

I ask him if he's felt any bulging or anything different there.

He states: "Yeah, I have two balls"

My response: "Um, no I don't mean those balls"

He gets all flustered and says, "Oh my gosh, I didn't mean that. Yeah, there are two little balls right here."

Well, what he was feeling were not balls but his intestines. Yep, it was a hernia.

Then we had the Friends episode discussion:
"Are you sure it a hernia?"
"Yes."
"What else could it be?"
"A hernia."
"Or?"
"A hernia."